Mingo's Nest Doula

I have been thinking a lot about trauma, and trauma focused care in my practice as a Postpartum Doula, and as a (hopefully) good human. The 3 main principles of Trauma Focused Care are: safety, connections, and managing emotions. While not all people have a traumatic birthing experience, everyone has at one point in their life experienced a trauma that has brought them to where they are today. 

I am reading a fantastic book that really speaks to this from the beginning. Birth. The book is: Winfrey, Oprah, and Bruce D. Perry. What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing. Flatiron Books, 2021. Anyone familiar with Oprah Winfrey knows about her ‘Ah Ha’ moments, and this book is full of those for me. Dr. Perry is a neuroscientist who has been studying the infant and child brain for decades. 

“every current and former newborn (that’s you and me) shares one profoundly important trait. Despite the myriad circumstances into which we’re born, we come into the world with an innate sense of wholeness. We don’t begin our lives by asking: Am I enough? Am I worthy? Am I deserving or lovable? Not one baby in the earliest moments of awareness asks, “Do I matter?” Their world is a place of wonder. But with their very first breaths, these tiny human beings begin trying to make sense of their surroundings. Who will nurture and care for them? What will bring comfort?” 

Chapter 1, page 21.

Now, I don’t know about you but, I will say, I certainly have not thought about myself as a former newborn when considering how I feel and process the world around me. But maybe we should! Maybe we should also consider the birth of our very own baby as a rebirth for us as well. You are being born too, you are now a parent.

I’m thinking about trauma with new parents when processing their birth story, and those first few challenging weeks with a newborn. Clinically looking at the experience you had in the hospital or birth center, or home (or Dr.s offices, baby classes, etc etc) it may look pretty standard and run of the mill for a birthing experience. But we each come to these moments with our own background. Things could have deviated from your birth plan, perhaps there was a scary situation and a healthcare worker showed their fear, perhaps there was a lack of consent on your part during the birth and things were done ‘to you’ vs ‘with your permission’. 

Processing all this with your Postpartum Doula can help you move forward to feel SAFE, to feel connected and really feel HEARD, and to move through your EMOTIONS. You have gone through a ‘hinge moment’ you went into this experience one person, and  you have come through more complex! I want to help you feel stronger, to feel powerful, and to feel confident in your home and life with your newborn baby, and newborn you! 

Dr. Perry and Oprah continue to say:

“If you are loved, you learn to love. Caring for the infant in this loving way also changes the brain of the caregiving adult. These interactions regulate and reward both child and caregiver.”

Chapter 4, Page 77.

I would be honored to bring love and support to you and your family!